Adult For ages 18— MAX Light Rail. WES Commuter Rail.
Before the Bus, Rosa Parks Was a Sexual Assault Investigator
LIFT Paratransit. Portland Streetcar. Traveling with kids Groups and field trips.
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Arrive at the stop at least 5 minutes early. Wait on the sidewalk where the operator can see you. Be ready to board with exact change or a valid ticket, transfer receipt or pass. Signal the operator that you wish to board. Stay back from the curb and wait until the bus comes to a complete stop. If you need to use a boarding ramp or lift, just ask the operator. Board and pay your fare. On some buses, the name of the next stop is also displayed on a reader board overhead. Sorry, everyone—that was annoying of me. At least I'm not Yo-Yo Guy, right? Okay, Yo-Yo Guy, now that you and I are alone: I swear to tit-fucking christ if I see you getting up to your goddamn yo-yo bullshit again on the 14, I'm going to strangle every last breath out of you and I'm going to use your piece-of-shit yo-yo to do it.
Do you think someone will stop me? No one will stop me. Everyone on the 14 will watch—silently, approvingly—and when your final breath wheezes into the cold still air, they will cheer. I will rise, and they will hail me as their righteous champion. They will stand, as one, and they will dump your broken body out the window; they will set fire to your yo-yo and fling it below, rejoicing as it is cracks beneath the bus' wheels. Your funeral will be a procession of 14s, and lo, upon the vanguard shall stand the guitar flame-thrower dude from Fury Road , and as the buses trundle over your mangled corpse, each rider will lean out the window to spit upon your crushed remains.
But do not mistake this proud song for your requiem, Yo-Yo Guy. This song is the anthem of a bright and beautiful and yo-yo-free future, one where the only memory of you shall be when your foul name is whispered, a dark and oily curse upon our descendants' sneering lips. Hey, I get it—if I had my way, children would be forbidden from appearing in public!
- Rosa Parks’ Life After the Bus Was No Easy Ride.
- Voices (Reykjavik Murder Mysteries Book 3).
- What We Believe and Why;
- Digitale Signalverarbeitung mit MATLAB: Grundkurs mit 16 ausführlichen Versuchen (Studium Technik) (German Edition);
- Notre Dame Fighting Irish 2012 Season Preview by One Foot Down.
- Teen Clings to Back of Moving DC Metrobus in Dangerous Stunt - NBC4 Washington.
Second, thanks to dipshit Oregonians' repeated refusal to adequately fund our schools, they probably can't afford a school bus for their super lame field trip, which is why they're on the goddamn regular bus with the likes of you and me and that twitching meth guy who almost definitely is having a full-blown seizure in the back.
None of this is the kids' fault, and even if it were, they're going to be punished with a super lame field trip. So either pay more in taxes or stop glaring at them and pointedly sighing at their teacher, who is a goddamn beautiful saint and who deserves a raise and who, in comparison, makes you look like Mr.
Start at a stop
Twitches back there. Surprising even myself, I'm So good for you, I guess, guy who's "keeping Portland weird" by, for some awful reason, wearing a full-on Michael Jackson get-up while riding to Fred Meyer. Maybe don't do it when there's a field trip. The bus is fucking gross. In , a study by Portland State University and the Oregonian found the average sample seat on a TriMet bus contained Children ride the bus. Twitches rides the bus. Vomiting moms ride the bus.
True, Keanu Reeves once rode the bus too, but that was only in a movie :. Ineptitude aside, why the hell are you putting a bike on the bus? That bike better be broken. And that's the exact reason it's illegal on the bus.
Race, Class, and the Stigma of Riding the Bus in America - CityLab
Okay, it's not illegal on the bus. But it should be.
Just sit next to somebody already! You just have to sit by them; it's not like you have to fuck them at the next stop. And no, trying to flatten yourself against the partition isn't going to work, because you're not a two-dimensional cartoon character. You're a dickbag who's standing in people's way while you squint at your phone, creepily scrolling through pictures of your ex on Facebook.
We are all looking, and we all want you to leave your poor ex alone. In real cities, people do not thank their bus drivers, subway operators, or funicular But in Portland, where everyone exerts a bewildering amount of effort trying to be super nice, this is a thing: When someone disembarks, they often chirp out a "Thanks! Now that I think about it, maybe this actually isn't the worst thing ever? After all, bus drivers are trapped in a metal box all day, trying to stick to a schedule while also dealing with shitty traffic and screaming children and mom vomit and oxacillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus and Mr.
Montgomery bus boycott
Twitches and your bullshit bag. They probably deserve some thanks. So carry on. Just stop fucking up everything else, and, together, we shall ride the chariot of the people into a bright and beautiful and yo-yo-free future.
Suite , Portland, OR Feature Sep 23, Olivia Storm. Newsletters Sign up for the latest news and to win free tickets to events.
How to Ride the Bus
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